Bleak times, these, what with the
sky misshapen and the responses in the newspapers lackluster and off-topic. The
harbingers fly low over the dried creek bed and fail to differentiate themselves
from the plovers which make an off-putting racket there morning and night. I
wouldn’t mind trying again, relaxing my grip on the handle and trying to
squeeze my way between the turnstile and the brick wall before any of the
custodians might notice. But that would mean dropping another ten pounds and
staying up half the night reciting verses I have committed to memory ahead of
time just in case this very opportunity should present itself. The monk motions
for me to follow him and I mistake the gesture at first for a proposition, an
attempt to turn my expectations on their head and have at them with a cheap
plastic replica of a well-known instrument of torture. One with what looks like
tentacles attached loosely to its business end. An implement legendary and
notorious in the land of its origins, which can no longer, unfortunately, be
precisely pinpointed. We walk two or three blocks in total silence, the city sliding
by in its casing and armor, smelling at times like something that grows on the
skin and is the color of tree sap, something with a name in Greek over thirty
characters long. Eventually we reach the river where D --------- is still
sitting on the concrete retaining wall watching the carp spawn. She can’t get
enough of the violence; the black beasts splash and frolic in the shallow channels
as if they would like nothing more than to take flight. To take to the sky
which hangs tantalizingly close above their heads. The monk is obviously in
love and I feel sorry for him, the way he stares at D ---------- in the moonlight,
all but weeps at the sight of her flesh turned silver with the advent of the
moon and the lust-tuned flashing of the fishes’ scales. Maybe we create what we
see so as to ensure it gets destroyed at some point in the not too distant
future. We can’t stand the thought of anything being allowed to continue after
we are gone and so we strike preemptively by creating, by pulling shape and
color and contour out of the void and promising it a future we have no right to
promise and no intention of delivering. This is what makes us such lousy
lovers. And brings the fury of the heavens down upon our heads. Whenever, that
is, the citizens of the heavens can be said to pay proper attention. When they do
not, when we are left to operate as we see fit (which is, of course, most of the
time), we are threatened by nothing much more ferocious than the occasional rain
shower. Or the faint glow of a meteor passing by overhead before it
disintegrates somewhere over Montana, to our infinite regret.
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