Light breaks through the barrier
and begins speaking, its insistence on finding fault so grating as to make you
wish you had jumped out of the way at the last minute and landed in the ocean.
Or among the pines. Anywhere that allowed you to reformulate the ideas that had
been circulating in your brain at that moment and so distracted you, kept you
from recognizing the peril that threatened to fall on you from above. My
recollection of these events goes in a jar containing the recollections of others,
all written down on slender pieces of paper, and the jar is passed around at
the close of the evening when the man in the auburn blazer with the outsized,
Frankish nose finds it terribly difficult to stand up straight, though whether
this is due to drunkenness (he has been at the absinthe since at least six
o’clock in the afternoon and he waved away the sugar cube on more than one
occasion) or something gone awry inside, in the interior where we keep our
organs and our oddly-shaped and worse-named organelles, is a matter of opinion.
My companions suggest it is situations such as these and the interminable
questions they encourage that most properly belong in that peculiar construction
people once called the book but which now goes by so many names there is no
point in trying to keep up with them. To catalogue them, as they say at JC Penneys,
or Yale. I recognize the jibe as one directed toward my erstwhile companion and
muse and make to defend her endeavors, but no words come, as usual, and I am
left to explain myself later to no one in particular, just as if ordinary
shadows and the occasional pitcher plant sloshing half-digested beetles around
inside it can be expected do the work of ten men. The only reason we are not
already floating face down in a pond on the edge of the premises ourselves is
because there is no pond to be found there, just a lot of lightweight medical
waste blown about on the breeze. Maybe its time to just give in, to recognize
that not every utterance is worthy of the toad that sits at the end of it. And
not every toad secretes the substance the toad is known the world over for
secreting, which, once placed on the tongue, produces hallucination and
eventually, should you ingest enough of it, death. But death in name only, for
I have it on good authority that should you take it upon yourself to journey in
that direction (and not accidentally the way the neighborhood cur does when he
molests the lesser beings around him out of boredom or a genuine lack of what
we would call focus), you’ll continue to enjoy vistas such as you might get
through a window that hasn’t been cleaned in several decades. It is possible to
make out certain shapes and movements – the waves cresting a mile away, say,
the roosters scratching up millipedes in the dirt. And anything not readily
apparent may be fleshed out then with the aid of the imagination, which is
diminished, certainly, on the other side of that portal, but not altogether
extinguished, despite what we might have been led to believe by the teachings
of the Dominicans, say, or the nursery rhymes we insist on tormenting our
children with. That faculty may last an hour or a day or, who knows? maybe even
several weeks, depending on the original condition it was in and how frequently
we were forced to rely on it beforehand because our own surroundings weren’t
exactly pristine then, or full of the sorts of birds who dazzle with their intricate
plumage.
No comments:
Post a Comment