His appearances hinge on
barometric pressure, on whether or not the crickets are singing. Circumstances
we can neither predict nor alter without also altering the way we view the
outside world. Permanently. And for the worse. I peel the backs off the labels I
find in my coat pocket and affix them haphazardly to fence boards and abandoned
refrigerators. I sketch on those left over at night, in pen, creating intricate
cross-hatch visages that have no right to exist because they are too nearly
perfect, too symmetrical and reveal next to nothing that hides behind them.
When we are out in the open, miles away from the nearest gas station or pastry
chef, when our arms begin to twitch and shudder under no other impetus than the
sight of the moon, who will soothe the panic that rises to the surface then
like a family of cephalopods? Who will write each distinct and necessary number
down for future consultation without also insisting on a surcharge, on a means
of keeping his family alive? Immanuel stumbles over physical entities in the
road like rocks and cobras and when he coughs, I detect (precisely because I am
looking for it) actual vapor droplets coming from his mouth. All of which
suggest he’s not entirely of the other, unknown plane yet and there might be
time to get a hook into his flesh -- or what manifests itself in the guise of
flesh -- and pull him back into this fretfully mundane plane of our own. He
seems to know what I am contemplating, though, and whenever I maneuver myself
to within arms’ length, he pulls away. He issues a brief, inhuman shriek and
then utters a series of uncanny words and phrases. Usually an impromptu
commentary on books and atlases the rest of us have no access to, entire
libraries (if I were to guess) existing as shadows of that destroyed in Alexandria
or suffering funding cuts up the road in Illinois. If my wits could be with me
instead of elsewhere, instead of scampering up pine trees like small,
anxiety-prone mammals, I would cease creation of the perfect cross-hatch human
faces and gather some of what is presented from the unknowable by this visitor
who, when still here in his totality, had no more use of the previously undocumented
bits of Anachreon he is spouting at me than he did an intimate knowledge of the
behind-the-scenes workings of his microwave oven. How lukewarm we’ve become to
the things we can see with our eyes, but not our minds! As if our minds had
come to cultivate blindness. As if they had spent too much time on ladders
leading always up and leaning perilously to one side when you place your foot
upon the bottom rung. Ten years from now, I will look back at the present
moment and glimpse maybe one eight thousandth of what surrounds and overwhelms
me today – the light inundating everything in waves, the mountain still four
days or a week away by foot but glinting in the sun like the unearthed corner
of a diamond, and, along a ridge near the top, a dozen or so enormous radio
telescopes all pointed in the same general direction, listening intently for
waves and communication from the deepest parts of outer space, where
everything, apparently, is sound, is abiding and undifferentiated noise
masquerading for some reason no one can quite put his finger on as impenetrable
silence.
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