The patients are also directly magnetized by means of the finger and
wand of the magnetizer moved slowly before their faces, above or behind their
heads, and on the diseased parts, always observing the direction of the holes.
The first indication that something is amiss is the missing chickens. One or
two a night, vanished before I can rouse myself and wander out into the morning
with its dry wind and its words painted here and there on the nearest overpass
by people who don’t spell very well, who have unsteady hands. Dreams drain out
the sink in our heads and we are left with a few tantalizing tidbits. The scaly
feet of a lizard. The sound of someone whispering your name over the sound of
someone else whispering your name. Both are anxious to communicate something of
terrific importance. If only their sentences didn’t disintegrate, didn’t melt
away like cubes of sugar held on the tongue. The background, like all standard
backgrounds, is tiled a muted yellow and difficult to distinguish from the
rooms where we are asked to wait while various officials disappear behind doors
with opaque glass panels in them. If we try to peer in through the glass we can
see figures, shadows, moving about in quick, antic bursts and then there are longer
periods during which nothing whatsoever seems to occur. The question, then, is
are the people on the other side of the door aware that we are watching them, or
at least tracking the comings and goings of their vague silhouettes, and, if
so, does this knowledge alter their behavior in perceivable ways? Does it allow
them to set aside their personal animosities and their overwhelming desire to
enact bloody revenge? Does it allow them to weigh the evidence fairly, by which
we mean with an eye toward that which hasn’t been entirely invented yet but
which leaves room still for the minor fiddling of a man of genius? The lack of gruesome
remains, the lack of severed feet and bloody feathers, for instance, rules out
most of the vermin and carnivores I am accustomed to dealing with in this part
of the world. The coyotes with their yellow incisors and their green eyes and
their reputation for standing upright when we are not looking. The badgers clawing
and pulling at the earth as if it were a rough approximation, a stand-in, for their
own genitals – meaning, something they do obsessively and with purpose, even if
that purpose is not completely evident at the start of the proceedings. And
maybe pleasure is its own purpose, is that which separates the meaningful from
the meaningless and does so without intending to, without knowing what it is
after, except itself. Wouldn’t it be remarkable if we too could lose ourselves
completely in the fumbling for sustenance and pleasure, in the stalking and the
obliging all others we come upon to be that which is stalked, to play a role in
the tale which is our lives rather than the familiar anecdote which is their
own?
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